cultivating self-compassion: embracing your inner goodness

Self-compassion. It's something we all crave, especially in times of struggle and uncertainty. And it’s particularly hard when we feel ashamed, fearful, and insecure, when we experience setbacks, or when we believe that we are not good enough… that we are unworthy. Simply put, when we are judging ourselves.

So, how do we cultivate self-compassion, especially when our inner critic is in full force?

To foster self-compassion, we must first let go of self-blame and learn to forgive ourselves.

One powerful way to practice self-compassion is to reflect on qualities or behaviors that we appreciate in ourselves. Take a moment to think about something you've done recently that you're proud of. Maybe it's showing up for a friend in need, or helping a stranger, or simply taking time for self-care. I recently took my dog to the vet. I had to carry him out of my trunk because he’s lost most of his muscles on his back legs, but his nails got caught in a net I have in the trunk. As I was struggling holding a heavy dog while getting him unhooked, a gentleman walking by stopped and asked me if I needed help. It may be small, but it really warmed my heart. And I want you to know that, just like this gentleman, you DO have a lot of amazing qualities in you. I promise you. Give yourself some time to go through those moments when your qualities shone, and journal about moments of self-appreciation. Write down three things you're grateful for about yourself each day, no matter how small.

Another powerful way of cultivating self-compassion is looking at yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you unconditionally. Maybe it's a friend, a partner, a child or even your pet. What do they see? Can you see the goodness and love in yourself that they see in you?

I still remember this moment a few years ago, when I was feeling overwhelmed after a business trip. I was jetlagged and exhausted, and I got frustrated with my kids and snapped at them over some trivial things. I immediately felt guilty and apologized to them right away, “I’m sorry for getting upset with you guys. You didn’t really do anything wrong. You are just being kids.”

And my daughter's response changed everything. She was only 8 at the time, and she said to me, “And you don’t need to apologize, because you are just being a mom.”

I may have told myself a hundred different stories about how I was failing my kids, #momguilt, but in my daughter’s eyes, I saw love and acceptance, not judgment or criticism. It was a powerful reminder to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion that I show to others, and that no one is perfect.

The third exercise I wanted to share with you is to practice self-compassion meditation. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and repeat a mantra like, "May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I be gentle with myself." Or customize it so it resonates with you.

Remember, self-compassion is not about perfection. It's about embracing our humanness, with all its flaws and imperfections. So, the next time you're feeling overwhelmed or self-critical, take a moment to pause, breathe, and offer yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would to a dear friend.

Remember, you are worthy, you are loved, and you are enough. Take care of yourself, and embrace your inner goodness.

#innerdragonwisdom #transformation #selflove #selfcompassion #selfgrowth